It's not past decisions that I have to deal with -- I know how to readjust my thinking around places where I fornicated the foxhound in the past. What I do have to deal with are the aftereffects and ramifications of my behavior and decisions, the impermeable lasting effects of what I chose to do. Example, unlike you, my disabilities aren't because of genetic or intrinsic medical issues, they're because of my own choices and a lack of understanding about what those decisions could do to me. Those are the bed I've made. I don't think of them as problems, I think of them as, for the most part, navigable obstacles in the path of my life. Some of those obstacles are blocking paths I could have taken, so those are now closed to me. It'll take some innovative medical breakthroughs to reopen those paths.