nyyki

>>After making a major life decision the next step is to work on how that affects the other things near it and what making that change does for other initiatives (at least for me, but I understand what the word consequences means).<<

That's a very astute way to put it.

>> I have decided to no longer expend any effort or (if possible) mental energy on attracting or locating romantic relationships. I want to stop expending energy toward something that’s not getting any return <<

Okay, that makes sense.

>> that smacks of hope thinking. <<

This phrase snagged my attention. It sounds like the kind of thing people do when they buy a lottery ticket, because realistically, hard work rarely stops people from being poor, but then you're spending a lot of money on what is usually still a losing gamble. Essentially, a variation of wishful thinking or false hope. When I tried searching the term, though, all I got were hits on how hope is always a good thing. Do you have a reference that describes hope thinking as a problem?

>> So it’s time to evaluate how this will affect my life and what other plans I’ll want to make to fill in the gaps that effort was designed to fill or help in filling.<<

Well, my first thought would be to reinvest the effort into other types of relationship, such as birth relatives or close friends. If you don't have a rich social network, then building a family of choice is a rich queer history -- and "queerplatonic" is the category for relationships that are as important as permanent sex partners but are neither sexual nor natal. If you don't live in an area that affords you much opportunity for that, then you might look online, or if you really crave facetime relationships, scout for other locales that might suit you better.

>> most of it fast food or things from restaurants, which aren’t the most healthy sources for nutrition and needed substances.<<

Cooking at home can be way cheaper and healthier, but is not feasible for everyone. However, there are also healthy no-cook options.

>> I can’t do some key things like know what I’m taking from a group of cans in the pantry, <<

This is solvable with tactile labels, doesn't even have to be Braille if you're not a fan. You could just as well label vegetables by color with Feelipa or ColorAdd or some personal symbol.

An alternative to labeling every damn can would be to label can racks, where you could:
* Stock a can rack for several favorite vegetables like "sliced carrots" or "green beans." Maximum identification but it eats up space.
* Stock a can rack for a type of vegetable in multiple forms, like corn niblets / creamed corn / hominy. A good balance between space and precision.
* Stock a can rack for vegetables, a can rack for beans, etc. by broad categories. Maximum efficiency and variety, but minimum precision.

A third option, more of a cost investment but higher independence, would be to get a barcode reader or picture-based identifier, so you wouldn't need a person to identify the cans. But that's likely out of budget, whereas can racks and a line-n-dot pen are cheap.

Not all problems are solvable, but many of them are. I have blind friends, and broke friends, so I'm used to working through "What are some different approaches to this challenge?"

>>This leads to the point – I need a new roommate who’s going to pay their half of the bills and the small amount I ask towards the mortgage.<<

YMMV based on your locale, but some categories I would consider checking:

* Queerfolk, especially young people who got kicked out of home and are seeking to establish themselves as functional adults. May be found at QUILTBAG hangouts or events.

* Other single people who are lonely and would appreciate company and sharing living expenses. Common, but may be challenging to find since "singles" events focus on mate-seeking. Sometimes you can spot them on friend-shifted holidays like Solo Valentines and events for same. Also watch for coffeehouses with a "join me" sign you can put on your table when seeking new friends.

* Older people, especially widows, who are still mostly or fully functional but don't want to live alone. Can be found at senior-friendly events and many craft activities of any kind.

* For someone comfortable with home assistance, consider students at a nursing or first responder school if you have such in your locale.

>> at this point a potential roommate either needs to already know me or come with a vouch from someone I know and trust.<<

That's definitely a challenge. You'll need to shake your friend tree pretty hard in hopes of finding a better option than your current unfeasible one.

>> Visitors to my home are rare <<

You might check for any shut-in programs in your locale. Churches often have them, but so do some community centers and other groups. If you find your caregivers helpful, you might ask them because some health facilities also have outreach programs for clients who can't travel much.

>>So I’ve got to figure out a way that I’m less isolated.<<

Some apartment buildings have social spaces for residents, and intentional community wholly built around social ties in the built environment; but I don't know if moving to a more sociable location is on your list of feasible options. And almost everything else would require more travel.

>> there’s a point in most of them where I feel the hit that comes from reading about something I might never have again.<<

There is a lot of platonic fiction, but it's not always easy to find. Searching asexual / aromantic literature is a good start; try Goodreads for recommended lists. Another option is classic science fiction, which was very often "story of idea" rather than relationships. I've found a couple of contemporary examples online too.

>> I’m at the mercy of the Library of Congress’s National Library Service for the Blind and Print disabled program <<

Yeah, that's a challenge. Do you have a text reader for online content? If so, that opens up a lot of options, like folks on Dreamwidth who do prompt calls. dialecticdreamer and I are always up for writing platonic stuff. I have whole series with ace leads.

>>I’m going to be less picky about science fiction and mysteries. <<

Cozy mysteries are usually pleasant to read and rarely contain romance. Gentle fiction is worth considering because it contains no sex, violence, or foul language; it might have romance, but has a higher-than-average rate of nonromantic content.

>>This will, however, probably give me the space to do that deep dive into Terry Pratchett’s Discworld some of my friends have suggested to me.<<

Yeah, that's a low-romance series from what I've seen of it. Tiffany Aching is a good story arc.

>>Still, this is going to change my focus some in what I write. I don’t need the stuff in my face for multiple hours a day if I want to maintain my normal upbeat positive outlook.<<

The world desperately needs more platonic fiction. If you want to explore that direction, there's a market for it. Acespec readers avidly compile and share reclists, so once you let people know that's a direction you want to take your writing, you should be able to build and audience for it.

>> What doesn’t help is how greater society views independents as somehow failing – outside a diner or seats at a bar, how many tables for one have you seen? <<

Coffeehouses. They're often in small spaces with quirky furniture, and they'll wedge in a one-seater in a corner or other nook. Another example is restaurants one step up from a hole-in-the-wall that only have room for a few seats. I've seen them put wedge tables in corners with one chair. And because of this, those places become popular with singles-not-looking, acefolk, and others who don't want that second chair. So if you can access coffeehouses and tiny restaurants, ask if they have a one-seat table.

>>I prefer the belief that I’m taking care of myself over the more popular label of a loser in the love department. <<

Very wise.

>> where I own a house.<<

Well, that lets out moving to a more sociable locale, and your requirement to know potential roommates would make it hard to build a sharehouse where you are. *ponder* But there's intentional neighboring, and if you got to know folks who like intentional community then you might find someone who's looking for a place to stay. Still, a house is a great asset.

>> I’m going to make the best I can out of what I’ve got and what I’ve created for myself, and try to continue being the blonde, blind, badass broad that I know myself to be.<<

Go you!