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Still Missing Dad
Aug. 19th, 2024 07:21 amAs of 11am today, my dad has been gone for five years. Amazing how time flies and manages to stay aloft carrying everything it does.
I got a decent resolution with him. My brother didn't, and he's hurt and angry about it, but something I don't say is that he created that situation by cutting Dad off (he cut me out of his life too). With Mom gone for so long (she and my two half sisters died in a car accident in 1981 -- I wish I'd had a chance to meet them, I didn't know they existed), My brother and I are orphans in the purest sense of the term. That's been different. Yeah, my stepmonster is still around, only the good die young, but she doesn't want to have me in her life and I definitely don't want her in mine -- everything these days is couched in political affiliation, and I have no knowledge of hers, though I am pretty sure I know what she'd say. That's not it, it's that she's a mean bigoted cigarette smoking drunk who's plagued by a Fundamentalist upbringing and sees only black and white in anything.
Five years. Time is weird with how it can plod along at the same time It's racing by in something else. Losing that foundation in my life has made me feel far more alone. Something to work on.
I got a decent resolution with him. My brother didn't, and he's hurt and angry about it, but something I don't say is that he created that situation by cutting Dad off (he cut me out of his life too). With Mom gone for so long (she and my two half sisters died in a car accident in 1981 -- I wish I'd had a chance to meet them, I didn't know they existed), My brother and I are orphans in the purest sense of the term. That's been different. Yeah, my stepmonster is still around, only the good die young, but she doesn't want to have me in her life and I definitely don't want her in mine -- everything these days is couched in political affiliation, and I have no knowledge of hers, though I am pretty sure I know what she'd say. That's not it, it's that she's a mean bigoted cigarette smoking drunk who's plagued by a Fundamentalist upbringing and sees only black and white in anything.
Five years. Time is weird with how it can plod along at the same time It's racing by in something else. Losing that foundation in my life has made me feel far more alone. Something to work on.
