2025 In the Rearview Mirror
Jan. 1st, 2026 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyykiSo… 2025.
I got a lot of writing done; I wrote a 30 day challenge last January, which is a bit unusual in a month that doesn't have 30 days. I turned out a decent amount of short stories during the rest of winter and throughout spring and the start of Summer; then July happened and things came together so I could finish five stories I'd had in process for a few years and also write something new. I've been a bit scant since then, but this has been a rough holiday season
I'm down to four novels in need of editing, one of which we're pretty deep into – this one has a lot of modern occult stuff in it, but when it comes to genre I don't color within the lines, so there's some definite polygenreism to most of what I write. Most covers are done too.
A friend has resurfaced and is working on my website (the first one – there are two more) so I hope that gets updated soon. My editor and I could use some help in setting up the book covers – I knew how to do all of that some time ago, you know, choosing backgrounds or background colors for a page, inserting graphics in text boxes and making the box frame invisible, and so on. I also could use a bit of direction on making sure the fonts I use are what the reader sees.
One of the graphics I need is stymieing me – I need a periodic table element block with the symbol the letter R, using the appropriate color to denote it's a gas at room temperature, with an atomic number of a reversed and inverted question mark, something important inn the box having a value of infinity plus or minus one, and the rest of the other things in a typical block told to me so I can populate the rest of it, or at least describe how to populate it. This is going to be the background wallpaper for www.random-element.com.
I didn't get my web 2.0 account shut down at midnight last night, because the idiots who were illegally setting off fireworks and stressing the liver and spleen out of Dixie made it hard to concentrate. I've got everything downloaded from it now, and I've given the order to delete that account; so the run from 02-01-2005 to last night is a closed chapter. My next windmill is to get LJ to delete my account, something they have been reluctant to do in the past.
I didn't much care for the hospital trip this year, it was my first time to be quarantined and it sucked the momentum out of my writing; I'm not getting inspired to delve into anything right now, which probably has a lot to do with the next thing.
I get that people move away, either to other places to live or other places to be dead. That's something my rational mind can understand, and I accept that. My heart has other feelings about this matter, and I'm far more isolated than I remember feeling in the past. Part of this is the holiday season, because for the most part it's one day after another and I know other people are having parties and family gatherings and stuff, but that isn't my reality. I heard from my sister-in-law (I'm keeping her in the family category, though I kicked her husband out long before he passed because he was a narcissistic untrustworthy grifter) and she asked me what my brother and I did for the holiday. Nothing, of course – my brother doesn't do holidays because he thinks they're a waste of energy. So it's been a way lonely time, and there's not much I can do about it because other people have made decisions that didn't include me in their concerns.
And then there's April 8th looming, getting closer. It'll be fifteen years then, and I don't know what level of aloneness and invalidation is reasonable for someone to be expected to take; I think a big part of my problem with this is that my memory's too good – I remember being a priority in someone else's life, and them being a priority in theirs too, and with my disability I can't be the independent internally strong person I was before my disability set in to stay.
I've been doing things to try to keep my spirits up, watching and listening to things I love, reading interesting books and magazines, inspiring things I've written or created, and so on, but it hasn't been as effective this holiday season. That's why it's good that's in the rear view mirror now.
My big challenge is to pound into my roommate's thick skull that I'm not a lending bank and this rental doesn't come with a five year payment plan for financial responsibilities. I swore I wouldn't carry debt for another roommate, and here I am. At some point I'm going to get frustrated and wipe what is owed to me from her and call it a bad financial decision, but that'll also include me deleting her phone number and email address from my devices and her move-out. That's a troublesome thing, though, because me living alone isn't the best idea. Still, if it's what I have to do, so be it. I've got a debt level in mind that'll trigger that set of events; it's not far off.
And of course, I'm not made of titanium – I have weak points, and if those get hit enough I'll toss my hands in the air and say, "Okay, world, you win, I'll get off your lawn."
I got a lot of writing done; I wrote a 30 day challenge last January, which is a bit unusual in a month that doesn't have 30 days. I turned out a decent amount of short stories during the rest of winter and throughout spring and the start of Summer; then July happened and things came together so I could finish five stories I'd had in process for a few years and also write something new. I've been a bit scant since then, but this has been a rough holiday season
I'm down to four novels in need of editing, one of which we're pretty deep into – this one has a lot of modern occult stuff in it, but when it comes to genre I don't color within the lines, so there's some definite polygenreism to most of what I write. Most covers are done too.
A friend has resurfaced and is working on my website (the first one – there are two more) so I hope that gets updated soon. My editor and I could use some help in setting up the book covers – I knew how to do all of that some time ago, you know, choosing backgrounds or background colors for a page, inserting graphics in text boxes and making the box frame invisible, and so on. I also could use a bit of direction on making sure the fonts I use are what the reader sees.
One of the graphics I need is stymieing me – I need a periodic table element block with the symbol the letter R, using the appropriate color to denote it's a gas at room temperature, with an atomic number of a reversed and inverted question mark, something important inn the box having a value of infinity plus or minus one, and the rest of the other things in a typical block told to me so I can populate the rest of it, or at least describe how to populate it. This is going to be the background wallpaper for www.random-element.com.
I didn't get my web 2.0 account shut down at midnight last night, because the idiots who were illegally setting off fireworks and stressing the liver and spleen out of Dixie made it hard to concentrate. I've got everything downloaded from it now, and I've given the order to delete that account; so the run from 02-01-2005 to last night is a closed chapter. My next windmill is to get LJ to delete my account, something they have been reluctant to do in the past.
I didn't much care for the hospital trip this year, it was my first time to be quarantined and it sucked the momentum out of my writing; I'm not getting inspired to delve into anything right now, which probably has a lot to do with the next thing.
I get that people move away, either to other places to live or other places to be dead. That's something my rational mind can understand, and I accept that. My heart has other feelings about this matter, and I'm far more isolated than I remember feeling in the past. Part of this is the holiday season, because for the most part it's one day after another and I know other people are having parties and family gatherings and stuff, but that isn't my reality. I heard from my sister-in-law (I'm keeping her in the family category, though I kicked her husband out long before he passed because he was a narcissistic untrustworthy grifter) and she asked me what my brother and I did for the holiday. Nothing, of course – my brother doesn't do holidays because he thinks they're a waste of energy. So it's been a way lonely time, and there's not much I can do about it because other people have made decisions that didn't include me in their concerns.
And then there's April 8th looming, getting closer. It'll be fifteen years then, and I don't know what level of aloneness and invalidation is reasonable for someone to be expected to take; I think a big part of my problem with this is that my memory's too good – I remember being a priority in someone else's life, and them being a priority in theirs too, and with my disability I can't be the independent internally strong person I was before my disability set in to stay.
I've been doing things to try to keep my spirits up, watching and listening to things I love, reading interesting books and magazines, inspiring things I've written or created, and so on, but it hasn't been as effective this holiday season. That's why it's good that's in the rear view mirror now.
My big challenge is to pound into my roommate's thick skull that I'm not a lending bank and this rental doesn't come with a five year payment plan for financial responsibilities. I swore I wouldn't carry debt for another roommate, and here I am. At some point I'm going to get frustrated and wipe what is owed to me from her and call it a bad financial decision, but that'll also include me deleting her phone number and email address from my devices and her move-out. That's a troublesome thing, though, because me living alone isn't the best idea. Still, if it's what I have to do, so be it. I've got a debt level in mind that'll trigger that set of events; it's not far off.
And of course, I'm not made of titanium – I have weak points, and if those get hit enough I'll toss my hands in the air and say, "Okay, world, you win, I'll get off your lawn."
no subject
Date: 2026-01-02 12:55 am (UTC)Was, “other people have made decisions that didn't include me in their concerns” a reference to me or to the general Texodus? Because I wished at the time that I could have gone back to school while staying in Dallas and living with you or bestie K, instead of with Mom here in North Carolina. But the class sizes at Parker are way bigger than they were here, and nobody masked but me at the school admissions event I went to in Dallas. I was not going to bring Covid to any of my Covid-cautious or immunocompromised peeps. That would have had guilt eating me alive. Plus I still would not have been able to flee to the only area where I know more than a couple of people, bc Parker doesn’t offer enough credit hours for licensure by endorsement in Washington.
I still think you and
no subject
Date: 2026-01-02 01:22 am (UTC)Not as moot as you might think -- the damage is done, LJ wouldn't give me much more than here at this point, because my friends from there have gone in different directions; it's not so much about the Russian acquisition as it is the devastating effect of The Social Networking Site that I will no longer name sucking so many people into its rapacious maw.
It's probably wise to not assume what I write is always about you -- Haunted Castles moving away ,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
theantichick dealing with moving and job difficulties, and many others have been a big factor in my friends group turning pretty much into a friend group.
I can't make what you're suggesting happen without buy-in from the other persons involved in what you're suggesting. You've mentioned this to me several times -- have you ever presented the idea to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
numb3r_5ev3n? I tend to be contact polite -- I know there are people in this world who wouldn't welcome knowing me or having me call them, so I don't reach out to people I don't know well until I know it's okay and what their schedule is so I don't interrupt anything. I'm not up for running a dog sanctuary, one dog, maybe two that I'm their pack leader, is enough for me, and if a renter or roommate has their own canines that's cool too -- I've had four dogs coexisting here in the past, and everyone got along well, because they all excepted that Dixie was my second.
Happy new years
Date: 2026-01-02 03:12 am (UTC)I think I mentioned to them that you needed to kick your roomie out and that they should get to know you in case an opportunity to move there opened up. But I can check in with them, and probably should.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-02 08:08 pm (UTC)"That's why it's hard to make friends when you're older," she said. "Friendship is rude."
Her friend's eyes widened. "What?"
"Think about it! When we're kids we decide who we like and stick by them no matter what. As adults, we're taught to be polite. But, friendship is an imposition- at least, I want it to be.
Call me after nine o'clock. Don't think you'll ever wear out your welcome. Overshare, show up at my door, go to the grocery store with me so we can waste another hour chatting. We'll never be friends if we spend all of our energy trying not to bother each other.”