Feeling Low
May. 19th, 2006 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyykidon't know why, but i'm feeling all low and alone tonight. It's been a bit of a frustrating day, so that might be a factor, and dreams last night were way beyond the pale.
I'd love to lose this moodiness. I didn't have it before, and it's started to become more prevalent lately. It's a feeling of isolation, disconnectedness, and being stuck somewhere I don't want to be with no way out. Not my favorite set of emotions, I can definitely say. I prefer to be a happy, relaxed person who isn't one of those angsty broodingtypes.
Part of the frustration was with the new system at school. They're going to a peoplesoft based system, and it isn't fully functional yet. So, I wound up not getting one of my classes, because while I was futzing around, the class filled up. Since it's in a computer lab, it was going to be a hassle for me anyway, but I've asked the instructor to let me in and I'll bring my laptop so that I have my screen reader anyway, thereby alleviating all the headaches. The laptop is wireless capable, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. But it's still aggrivating.
On the positive front, I think we finally have the math stuff worked out. The Mathematics department is basically going to just assign an english native TA to me -- one who has absolutely no foreign accent. I'll meet with them instead of the class, and we will handle all the stuff that way. it's a far better answer than I hoped for, and it should help a lot in getting through classes my screen reader won't be able to handle.
So here I sit, trying to improve my mood by running through my music collection. And even though the roommate, one dog, and two cats are here, I still feel isolated. The roommate is making jewelry. The dog is lounging on the bed. The cats are off somewhere being cats. And I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere with no one around.
I'd love to lose this moodiness. I didn't have it before, and it's started to become more prevalent lately. It's a feeling of isolation, disconnectedness, and being stuck somewhere I don't want to be with no way out. Not my favorite set of emotions, I can definitely say. I prefer to be a happy, relaxed person who isn't one of those angsty broodingtypes.
Part of the frustration was with the new system at school. They're going to a peoplesoft based system, and it isn't fully functional yet. So, I wound up not getting one of my classes, because while I was futzing around, the class filled up. Since it's in a computer lab, it was going to be a hassle for me anyway, but I've asked the instructor to let me in and I'll bring my laptop so that I have my screen reader anyway, thereby alleviating all the headaches. The laptop is wireless capable, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. But it's still aggrivating.
On the positive front, I think we finally have the math stuff worked out. The Mathematics department is basically going to just assign an english native TA to me -- one who has absolutely no foreign accent. I'll meet with them instead of the class, and we will handle all the stuff that way. it's a far better answer than I hoped for, and it should help a lot in getting through classes my screen reader won't be able to handle.
So here I sit, trying to improve my mood by running through my music collection. And even though the roommate, one dog, and two cats are here, I still feel isolated. The roommate is making jewelry. The dog is lounging on the bed. The cats are off somewhere being cats. And I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere with no one around.
