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nyykiThere are four classic lies. The first three are well known -- "The check's in the mail, ""I'm from the government and I'm here to help you," and "I promise I won't come in your mouth." But the fourth one is far less commonly known as a lie, and it is both often false and also deceptive.
That lie is the three simple words, "I love you."
Let's start with the obvious. Guys and women have very different meanings for these terms much of the time. They have different depths, and also often different reasons why they're said.
But there are so much more meanings than just that dichotomy. Such things can be things like "I love you because of how you make me feel," "I love being in love with you," or "I love feeling this way." And though the person may think they're being selfless and caring for the other person, all three of these are actually selfish meanings. So is the more mental "I love you because of what you mean to me," and "I love you because of what you represent," along with "I love you because of what you do and say." These are a far cry below the higher spiritual love of "I love you because of your uniqueness," or the even more pure expression of , "I love you because you exist." But these are so rare as to be unknown to almost all people.
And then there's the other side of the coin, when "I love you" has no meaning and is used only to get one's way. This is "I love you" as a weapon, possibly the lowest perversion of the phrase, but all too common. Abusers use it when they're trying to excuse the pain they just caused, manipulators use it to get what they want, and co-dependents use it to get feelings of self worth.
Now I hear all of you who are in love with someone right now saying that I don't get it. You're likely right, in multiple senses of the word. I won't say I envy you, as I don't know at this point if I could trust the words if they were said to me after what I've gone through, but it's probably hard for you to empathize with someone who is unwanted and unloved in the way that makes someone feel like they're something more than just another meat puppet walking the Earth. And I don't wish that empathy on you in any case, because it is a very lonely and cold feeling, one that feels like warmth itself is impossible and that this coldness inside the soul is the only state that can be known.
If you have someone who says those three words to you on a regular basis, and if you also feel that you can trust their words beyond all doubt, then I truly hope you're right and their use of the words are forthright and true. Consider yourself lucky, and when you see one of us in the unwanted cadre pass by, try to understand that such feelings are not only strange to us, but bordering on the mythical.
That lie is the three simple words, "I love you."
Let's start with the obvious. Guys and women have very different meanings for these terms much of the time. They have different depths, and also often different reasons why they're said.
But there are so much more meanings than just that dichotomy. Such things can be things like "I love you because of how you make me feel," "I love being in love with you," or "I love feeling this way." And though the person may think they're being selfless and caring for the other person, all three of these are actually selfish meanings. So is the more mental "I love you because of what you mean to me," and "I love you because of what you represent," along with "I love you because of what you do and say." These are a far cry below the higher spiritual love of "I love you because of your uniqueness," or the even more pure expression of , "I love you because you exist." But these are so rare as to be unknown to almost all people.
And then there's the other side of the coin, when "I love you" has no meaning and is used only to get one's way. This is "I love you" as a weapon, possibly the lowest perversion of the phrase, but all too common. Abusers use it when they're trying to excuse the pain they just caused, manipulators use it to get what they want, and co-dependents use it to get feelings of self worth.
Now I hear all of you who are in love with someone right now saying that I don't get it. You're likely right, in multiple senses of the word. I won't say I envy you, as I don't know at this point if I could trust the words if they were said to me after what I've gone through, but it's probably hard for you to empathize with someone who is unwanted and unloved in the way that makes someone feel like they're something more than just another meat puppet walking the Earth. And I don't wish that empathy on you in any case, because it is a very lonely and cold feeling, one that feels like warmth itself is impossible and that this coldness inside the soul is the only state that can be known.
If you have someone who says those three words to you on a regular basis, and if you also feel that you can trust their words beyond all doubt, then I truly hope you're right and their use of the words are forthright and true. Consider yourself lucky, and when you see one of us in the unwanted cadre pass by, try to understand that such feelings are not only strange to us, but bordering on the mythical.
