The Mutt Club

[nyyki]

For some reason Dixie has taken to lounging in the middle of the hallway a lot of the time. I get that it's the center of the house, it's close to the HVAC system so it can be warmer, and it's close enough that if I call her she's going to hear it unless she's asleep. That said, since I got the new doorbell she doesn't bark at it, and where she lounges is right by it since it's a Wi-Fi doorbell and I've got a power outlet halfway up the hall wall – my choice, it was added on to the switch for the attic fan.

All that said, tonight she was there until I fed her – then she moved her hanging out to my room.

I said, "What up, Dix?"
"I'm staying inside."
"Oh? Because it's cold outside and you've got such short fur?"
"No, because Morris is angry."
"Why is he angry now?"
"Sparky made him that way."
"And what did Sparky do to Morris?"
"I think it's sort of a silly thing – he started something he calls a club and told Morris he couldn't join it."
"Because Morris is a cat?"
"No, because it's a club for mutts. He says I'm a mutt."
"He's right, your mama and daddy weren't the same kind of dog, though they were different in size and color, not the important stuff like innards."
I picked up on my slip the moment I said it and hoped she wouldn't pounce on that – faint hope there, she's a terrier so pouncing is one of her major traits. "Did they both have four legs and a tail?"
"I don't know, I never met them, but I bet they did. And before you ask, ears and eyes and a nose and teeth, and yes, of course a butt too, because all dogs and most creatures have butts."
"What did they smell like?"
"I have no idea, like I said, I never met them, which also means I never smelled them; we Two Legs don't sniff each other's butts. So this is a mutt club?"
"Yeah, and Morris is growling and meowing and stomping around about it. I still don't understand something – why would looking different or not being exactly the same make someone not the same type of dog?"
Yeah, she sniffed that one out, and now I needed to navigate it with care. "Dogs and cats are different from Two Legs in how they're talked about. Bruno was a different type of dog than you because of how big he was and how his fur was different."
"So looks make dogs different?"
"Sometimes, or at least some people focus on that. You know, like the difference between you and a chihuahua or a big dog like the one next door."
"Okay, so different looks make dogs different?"
"Sort of, but not really."
"You look different from my past back leader."
Yeah, she was going there. "Yes, but we're still the same kind of people. lanalucy is the same type of Two Legs as I am, and the differences don't make her different enough to think of her as a different type of person."
"I don't understand, Pack Leader."
"Join the club, Dixie, a lot of time I don't understand why people do that either."
"So you're in a club? Are you a mutt too?"
"We don't use that term for two legs, or at least most people don't; I don't want to be around people who do. There are other clubs besides a mutt club."
"Could Morris join one of those?"
"He could, if they'd let him join; Morris likes to mess with people and argue all the time."
"Pack leader?"
"Yes, sweet dog of mine?"
"Do all pack leaders have puppy lumps?"
"What are puppy lumps?"
"Those two lumps on your body, you know, for feeding puppies."
"Oh, those, no, some pack leaders don't have them; some of them are boy pack leaders, and others don't have them for different reasons."
"Why do you and the pack leader before you have them?"
"Dixie, that's a very long conversation, and I don't have the energy to get into that part of human anatomy. It's something about how we're built. More than that can get way confusing, so let's not get into that, okay?"
"Okay, I won't ask about it. Pack leader?"
"What is it now, Holy Terrier?"
"I'm going to go lay down in the dog run now."
"Dix, we don't have a dog run."
"Okay, then what is it that lets you and me and the other Two Legs go from room to room?"
"Doors? Or the hallway? That's long and kind of narrow like a dog run."
"Yeah, that."
"Okay, go rest there, but if you want to you can sleep next to me when you get tired."
"Okay." She ran off, leaving me thinking about how else I could have explained bigotry based on physical differences in humans.