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Reflections on a Saturday Morning
Nov. 5th, 2005 08:24 amSince the time change, I've been waking up earlier. I guess my internal clock isn't shifted yet. I like getting up early, though, s it makes it easier to get stuff done in the day. However, now that I'm not allowed to drive myself, I do have the complication of having to wait for other people to arise. That was a definite factor at CMA, as I would have to sit in my tent until I heard movement, since it's a bad idea for a blind person to go wandering around in open fields, especially such fields as those at CMA, with all kinds of mole holes and other terrain.
It seems that all of my friends, with the exception of J, have paired up now.Being single in a world geared toward couples can be a real headache. Just eating at restaurants is kinda weird. I sometimes get the feeling that some couples are apprehensive when a single person is around. Maybe it's because they don't understand being single, since most people seem to be able to find relationships fairly easily, or perhaps it's because they fear that the singleness might be contagious. I'm lucky to have friends that do a fairly good job of trying to help me feel included, but it's never quite enough.
I don't know which is harder, getting through a semester or putting one together. The classes I need for graduation can almost be counted on one hand, yet I'm going to have to take two or three more semesters to finish all of this, so filling the rest of the semester gets to be a rather interesting challenge. I already know that I'll have to do Fridays next semester, so no more three day weekends. I am finding some interesting classes, so it won't be a total waste of a semester.
ONe of the frustrating things about being blind is that there are things I just cannot do by myself. I have some software I need installed on several computers, and doing that by myself is fundamentally impossible. I also need some help setting up some spam filters on Outlook, and I still have several tech tasks that need doing. But Friends are busy people, and the roomie is not the person to help with such things I just need some help on several things, and it seems that I just have to wait to get it done
I guess I'm feeling a bit low this morning. I keep sleeping wrong on my sholder, and so it hurts in the mornings. I'm looking at a weekend of what basically amounts to house arrest, since I have no plans and no real hope of getting out of the house. I've noticed that I'm having a hard time getting the energy up to go fix food, and that is in my book a sure sign of depression. (At least I'm not one of those people who binges when I feel depressed, so I'm losing a bit of weight in the process. Always a silver lining, eh?)
Ah, well. I'll live through this, I always do. And if I don't, then at least I'll get to get away from it all for a bit until I come down here the next time.
It seems that all of my friends, with the exception of J, have paired up now.Being single in a world geared toward couples can be a real headache. Just eating at restaurants is kinda weird. I sometimes get the feeling that some couples are apprehensive when a single person is around. Maybe it's because they don't understand being single, since most people seem to be able to find relationships fairly easily, or perhaps it's because they fear that the singleness might be contagious. I'm lucky to have friends that do a fairly good job of trying to help me feel included, but it's never quite enough.
I don't know which is harder, getting through a semester or putting one together. The classes I need for graduation can almost be counted on one hand, yet I'm going to have to take two or three more semesters to finish all of this, so filling the rest of the semester gets to be a rather interesting challenge. I already know that I'll have to do Fridays next semester, so no more three day weekends. I am finding some interesting classes, so it won't be a total waste of a semester.
ONe of the frustrating things about being blind is that there are things I just cannot do by myself. I have some software I need installed on several computers, and doing that by myself is fundamentally impossible. I also need some help setting up some spam filters on Outlook, and I still have several tech tasks that need doing. But Friends are busy people, and the roomie is not the person to help with such things I just need some help on several things, and it seems that I just have to wait to get it done
I guess I'm feeling a bit low this morning. I keep sleeping wrong on my sholder, and so it hurts in the mornings. I'm looking at a weekend of what basically amounts to house arrest, since I have no plans and no real hope of getting out of the house. I've noticed that I'm having a hard time getting the energy up to go fix food, and that is in my book a sure sign of depression. (At least I'm not one of those people who binges when I feel depressed, so I'm losing a bit of weight in the process. Always a silver lining, eh?)
Ah, well. I'll live through this, I always do. And if I don't, then at least I'll get to get away from it all for a bit until I come down here the next time.
