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Passing Lane
Jul. 19th, 2021 02:33 pmFor a segment of our trans community passing is of paramount importance. It can even be survival. We're not that far off from what happened to Brandon Teena, and for transfolk who happen to be ethnic minorities it can be a matter of life or death. It was one of the two major points of discussion online pre-WWW, the other being how to navigate the HBSOC.
Trying to pass was a major source of fear for me pre-summer of 2003. I was told I passed well, but I still watched everyone around me too figure out if I was being read. I live in a big city in a huge metropolitan area (poised to become the third largest by 2030 unless something drastic changes in Chicago's growth pattern) and yet there are still people who would express their hatred and rage (which is all about fear on the basic level) on me and deal with the consequences later, justifying it by saying to themselves and anyone who'd listen that it was worth it to get sideways with the authorities if it meant there was one less weirdo walking around.
Then all of a sudden with one change all that went away. I lost my sight. I couldn't see how others were reacting to me, so I couldn't react to them reacting to me. I had no choice but to assume I was passing okay and go on with what I needed to do out among the public. That feedback loop was broken, and I came across as a person, not a person scared and seeking approval. That seemed to make the difference.
I won't ignore the effect a white cane or TAFKATGB (The Artist Formerly Known as the Guide Beast) has /had on how I'm seen by others. But I think being natural with my expression makes a huge difference.
Think about it, folks with GT (Gender Typical) expressions come in a wide range of looks, sizes, colors, flavors, and gender expressions, though according to a study more of them express as androgynes right in the middle of the spectrum. So why hyperfeminize? Yes, the 50's can be sexy for some folks, and that was a particular type of femininity, but costplay tends to stand out, and there are so many female positive looks that come from other time periods. (I've got a love for the early to mid eighties, but I get why that's a special era for me) When I go out I dress either to draw no notice or to draw attention to how good I look. And it's great to be able to pass as my gender of comfort with no worries about how I'm doing it.
I like this test. It's 100 questions, but I think it's worth the time. I take it every once in a while to compare to how my expression has changed. I checked, and it's still there, so if you're interested take it and let me know your result.
https://members.tripod.com/~womens_voices/BF100/BF100.html
I don't know how to pass on what I've experienced to others trying to pass, because I don't recommend losing your sight as a passing strategy. Not caring about this is hard, but it might be worth a try to feel better about how you or someone else you know who's trying to do this feels.
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
Trying to pass was a major source of fear for me pre-summer of 2003. I was told I passed well, but I still watched everyone around me too figure out if I was being read. I live in a big city in a huge metropolitan area (poised to become the third largest by 2030 unless something drastic changes in Chicago's growth pattern) and yet there are still people who would express their hatred and rage (which is all about fear on the basic level) on me and deal with the consequences later, justifying it by saying to themselves and anyone who'd listen that it was worth it to get sideways with the authorities if it meant there was one less weirdo walking around.
Then all of a sudden with one change all that went away. I lost my sight. I couldn't see how others were reacting to me, so I couldn't react to them reacting to me. I had no choice but to assume I was passing okay and go on with what I needed to do out among the public. That feedback loop was broken, and I came across as a person, not a person scared and seeking approval. That seemed to make the difference.
I won't ignore the effect a white cane or TAFKATGB (The Artist Formerly Known as the Guide Beast) has /had on how I'm seen by others. But I think being natural with my expression makes a huge difference.
Think about it, folks with GT (Gender Typical) expressions come in a wide range of looks, sizes, colors, flavors, and gender expressions, though according to a study more of them express as androgynes right in the middle of the spectrum. So why hyperfeminize? Yes, the 50's can be sexy for some folks, and that was a particular type of femininity, but costplay tends to stand out, and there are so many female positive looks that come from other time periods. (I've got a love for the early to mid eighties, but I get why that's a special era for me) When I go out I dress either to draw no notice or to draw attention to how good I look. And it's great to be able to pass as my gender of comfort with no worries about how I'm doing it.
I like this test. It's 100 questions, but I think it's worth the time. I take it every once in a while to compare to how my expression has changed. I checked, and it's still there, so if you're interested take it and let me know your result.
https://members.tripod.com/~womens_voices/BF100/BF100.html
I don't know how to pass on what I've experienced to others trying to pass, because I don't recommend losing your sight as a passing strategy. Not caring about this is hard, but it might be worth a try to feel better about how you or someone else you know who's trying to do this feels.
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
