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Music: Don't Take Me Alive
Aug. 18th, 2021 02:54 pmYesterday kind of sucked. Nothing too much bummerish from a big deal standpoint, but I get to not be the perky upbeat woman all the time.
I burned through two issues of The Nation, a short SF novel, and an issue of National Review in a fast straight succession. I noticed during all that things were starting to sound a bit slow, so I raised the speed another notch and I'm going through content at a full 2x speed. So that's a lot of info dump.
I also had a friend and neighbor lean on me hard in a protracted redundant conversation about getting vaccinated. I told him I'd contact my doctor on Monday (day before yesterday, this conversation happened on Friday night) multiple times and let him know this was going to be deep down burning psychological agony for me because I respond with strong visceral reactions to needles. (I'm visualizing sewing needles and the needle on a record player right now to keep the pain at bay) But he wasn't going to give it up, because the excessive number of beers he consumed made him about as empathic as a carbonaceous condrite out in the Kuyper Belt. (He tends to pride himself on his empathy)
I made the contact, got a response, and I'm going to get the J&J vaccine as soon as I can. There is no guarantee I'll make a single antibody from the vaccine, and they advised me to not even bother with antibodies testing because there are other things at play. They also told me I'll need a booster, (more record players and sewing flitting through my mind right now) when one is cleared by the FDA. I'll still need to mask up and social distance.
So that's a huge mess of headache to deal with. While that's going on I'm also dealing with taking the bandages off the heart shaped Pandora's box in my chest because I think></> I've managed to heal some of the trauma that made me shut down over ten years ago. I'm no longer terrified about running into my ex-fiancee at Starbucks or the Half Price Main Store, and I removed the block over on Zuckerbook because I've detached from the emotion about all that now. So, as I mentioned here in a post not too long ago, I'm no longer feeling asexual and aromantic. One downside to that is that now I'm aware of such things a lot more, but it's moot because I almost never get out of the house these days. No opportunity to meet anyone. And I've done the online thing -- that's how I met my prior spouse. That gets weird for blind folks. So all of that was sort of getting me down.
I realized some music might help. And there I was in luck. Though my archive and backup are both needing something to get access to them, I have some CDs in a car visor thing, and I found one of The Royal Scam by Steely Dan. The moment I realized what I was listening to I jumped forward to this song. Fixed me right up.
I like Donald Fagan's voice when he's singing. (I find him sort of obnoxious and strident when he's speaking) I love the way they recorded his Fender Rhodes electric piano. And Larry Carlton's guitar playing on this one is wonderful. So I give you "Don't Take Me Alive" by Steely Dan. Enjoy, and hopefully it'll be as much of a stress reliever as it was for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YxK-swFREo
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
I burned through two issues of The Nation, a short SF novel, and an issue of National Review in a fast straight succession. I noticed during all that things were starting to sound a bit slow, so I raised the speed another notch and I'm going through content at a full 2x speed. So that's a lot of info dump.
I also had a friend and neighbor lean on me hard in a protracted redundant conversation about getting vaccinated. I told him I'd contact my doctor on Monday (day before yesterday, this conversation happened on Friday night) multiple times and let him know this was going to be deep down burning psychological agony for me because I respond with strong visceral reactions to needles. (I'm visualizing sewing needles and the needle on a record player right now to keep the pain at bay) But he wasn't going to give it up, because the excessive number of beers he consumed made him about as empathic as a carbonaceous condrite out in the Kuyper Belt. (He tends to pride himself on his empathy)
I made the contact, got a response, and I'm going to get the J&J vaccine as soon as I can. There is no guarantee I'll make a single antibody from the vaccine, and they advised me to not even bother with antibodies testing because there are other things at play. They also told me I'll need a booster, (more record players and sewing flitting through my mind right now) when one is cleared by the FDA. I'll still need to mask up and social distance.
So that's a huge mess of headache to deal with. While that's going on I'm also dealing with taking the bandages off the heart shaped Pandora's box in my chest because I think></> I've managed to heal some of the trauma that made me shut down over ten years ago. I'm no longer terrified about running into my ex-fiancee at Starbucks or the Half Price Main Store, and I removed the block over on Zuckerbook because I've detached from the emotion about all that now. So, as I mentioned here in a post not too long ago, I'm no longer feeling asexual and aromantic. One downside to that is that now I'm aware of such things a lot more, but it's moot because I almost never get out of the house these days. No opportunity to meet anyone. And I've done the online thing -- that's how I met my prior spouse. That gets weird for blind folks. So all of that was sort of getting me down.
I realized some music might help. And there I was in luck. Though my archive and backup are both needing something to get access to them, I have some CDs in a car visor thing, and I found one of The Royal Scam by Steely Dan. The moment I realized what I was listening to I jumped forward to this song. Fixed me right up.
I like Donald Fagan's voice when he's singing. (I find him sort of obnoxious and strident when he's speaking) I love the way they recorded his Fender Rhodes electric piano. And Larry Carlton's guitar playing on this one is wonderful. So I give you "Don't Take Me Alive" by Steely Dan. Enjoy, and hopefully it'll be as much of a stress reliever as it was for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YxK-swFREo
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
