nyyki

(I'm shutting down my deadjournal due to lack of activity, so I'm moving the stuff I like over here.)
Attainable Affirmations
If you're having a bad day, and in need of encouragement or inspiration, try these:

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay on top.

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

8. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

10. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

10. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

11. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

12. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.

13. I am at one with my duality.

14. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

15. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

16. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

17. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

18. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

19. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone.

20. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

21. I am learning that open criticism is not nearly as effective as using my minions for covert sabotage.

22. To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

23. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

24. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.