Capitalizing an Identifier
Oct. 4th, 2021 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyykiFirst, a bit of background.
1. In the longest novel I've written to date, Deja Vu 2, my main character has a rock band. She's done this in a prior lifetime, (but with the same time period, thanks to some dimensional hopping and knowledge transfer) so she knows how the industry works in the early 80s-now plus about a decade. So she goes in armed for bear. But the rest of her band from that prior lifetime (with one exception for a very good reason) gets jumped into the time line with her. As do others. Her friend who is also their marketing person, graphic artist, and publicist decides they need what she calls "the process", a collection of events that will help them own their rock star nature. It was heady stuff to write about this, all from speculation, because I'd never done any of those things. And I wanted to.
2. I'm tired of living multiple lives, one using my dead name. So National Coming Out Day 2021 was my deadline. I've got all the paperwork for my name change ready to go to the courts. And I've deleted my profile picture already. When I flip the switch on my name I want a good head shot to let folks see the real me, the me inside, and who I know to be myself.
The roommate/boarder is in cosmetology school. She knows a lot of folks there who are always interested in outside projects to build their skill and word fame. So yesterday (10/03/2021) we got together and did a photo shoot with a full makeover for two different shots. I did several preliminaries, including getting new clothes and searching up several things I already had. We gathered around 3pm CDT, did hair and makeup for the first more modern shot, ate, (because you always feed the crew, and even more so if the crew is donating their time) and put together the second shot with a different vintage wig and more dramatic makeup and clothes. We waited until after dark and headed to a good local site to do a second photo shoot.
Do this. Do whatever you can to make this process happen for you. It was incredible, self-affirming, and enlightening.
I was the center of all attention for about five hours or so. It's an unusual place to be, because my extroversion doesn't tend to run to exhibitionism, it's more facilitation so everyone has a great time. Nothing I've ever done, even singing on stage either for art music or my own stuff, prepared me for what this felt like. And it was far more than I ever dreamed it could be.
Second, it took me to new places in how I relate to a camera. And this included things relating to my blindness. But far more important, I got feedback that stunned me. Within a 24 hour time span I got told I was beautiful five times. That was a first, nobody ever used that word towards me in my life. I'm still processing how that fits with who I know me to be. I felt like "cute" was about as far as I was going to get up the ladder, so this came as a huge surprise. I was ready for the softness of the first shoot (I don't have pictures from that yet) and the attitude of the second 80s shoot, but I wasn't expecting something that positive.
But the big one is how this has affected me in my image. Self-image. It put a big huge W onto the front of woman. I feel more like one than I ever have before. It's this confident and empowered glow that permeates me. I've been working towards this for a bit, with what I've picked out to wear and how I express myself in that clothing, but this cranked it up to 11. And instead of the apprehension facing up to Friday I'm going in confident and strong and ready to get it done.
Like I said, the second shoot was a new wave from the early days of MTV kind of look. Here's one of the pictures from the shoot, the only one I have so far, so tell me what you think. (and yeah, I know my hairstyle is dated, it's retro on purpose)
Eighties Nicole Giving You The Look
So do this if you possibly can. Because each one of you deserves to be treated this way, and shown how wonderful you can be.
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
1. In the longest novel I've written to date, Deja Vu 2, my main character has a rock band. She's done this in a prior lifetime, (but with the same time period, thanks to some dimensional hopping and knowledge transfer) so she knows how the industry works in the early 80s-now plus about a decade. So she goes in armed for bear. But the rest of her band from that prior lifetime (with one exception for a very good reason) gets jumped into the time line with her. As do others. Her friend who is also their marketing person, graphic artist, and publicist decides they need what she calls "the process", a collection of events that will help them own their rock star nature. It was heady stuff to write about this, all from speculation, because I'd never done any of those things. And I wanted to.
2. I'm tired of living multiple lives, one using my dead name. So National Coming Out Day 2021 was my deadline. I've got all the paperwork for my name change ready to go to the courts. And I've deleted my profile picture already. When I flip the switch on my name I want a good head shot to let folks see the real me, the me inside, and who I know to be myself.
The roommate/boarder is in cosmetology school. She knows a lot of folks there who are always interested in outside projects to build their skill and word fame. So yesterday (10/03/2021) we got together and did a photo shoot with a full makeover for two different shots. I did several preliminaries, including getting new clothes and searching up several things I already had. We gathered around 3pm CDT, did hair and makeup for the first more modern shot, ate, (because you always feed the crew, and even more so if the crew is donating their time) and put together the second shot with a different vintage wig and more dramatic makeup and clothes. We waited until after dark and headed to a good local site to do a second photo shoot.
Do this. Do whatever you can to make this process happen for you. It was incredible, self-affirming, and enlightening.
I was the center of all attention for about five hours or so. It's an unusual place to be, because my extroversion doesn't tend to run to exhibitionism, it's more facilitation so everyone has a great time. Nothing I've ever done, even singing on stage either for art music or my own stuff, prepared me for what this felt like. And it was far more than I ever dreamed it could be.
Second, it took me to new places in how I relate to a camera. And this included things relating to my blindness. But far more important, I got feedback that stunned me. Within a 24 hour time span I got told I was beautiful five times. That was a first, nobody ever used that word towards me in my life. I'm still processing how that fits with who I know me to be. I felt like "cute" was about as far as I was going to get up the ladder, so this came as a huge surprise. I was ready for the softness of the first shoot (I don't have pictures from that yet) and the attitude of the second 80s shoot, but I wasn't expecting something that positive.
But the big one is how this has affected me in my image. Self-image. It put a big huge W onto the front of woman. I feel more like one than I ever have before. It's this confident and empowered glow that permeates me. I've been working towards this for a bit, with what I've picked out to wear and how I express myself in that clothing, but this cranked it up to 11. And instead of the apprehension facing up to Friday I'm going in confident and strong and ready to get it done.
Like I said, the second shoot was a new wave from the early days of MTV kind of look. Here's one of the pictures from the shoot, the only one I have so far, so tell me what you think. (and yeah, I know my hairstyle is dated, it's retro on purpose)
Eighties Nicole Giving You The Look
So do this if you possibly can. Because each one of you deserves to be treated this way, and shown how wonderful you can be.
Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
no subject
Date: 2021-10-05 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-05 01:04 pm (UTC)Interesting enough, the sunglasses were an afterthought. I'm so totally amped about this. Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
Sent from my HAL 9000 in transit to Jupiter
no subject
Date: 2021-10-05 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-05 10:27 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm curious to get some more of them. And I need one from the first session for my new profile pic. Nyyki (she/her/Miss)
Sent from my HAL 9000 in transit to Jupiter