More from Deadjournal, with added stuff.
Feb. 9th, 2002 10:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyyki(Long post. I do not use Cut Tags.)
Nyyki's Ponderables
What is a male Midwife called?
Do vegan women "swallow?" if so, why? If not, what is their thinking?
Ever notice that someone who rides a motorcycle is called a Biker, while someone who rides a bike is a Cyclist?
Isn't kind of interesting that pants are called Slacks while a category of hose are known as tights?
Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?
If you tied a buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a great height, what will happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?
You know how most well labelled packages say "Open Here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"?
When a crash-test-dummy hits his head, and no engineers record the results, does he make a sound?
Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
Why are there floatation devices under plane seats, instead of parachutes?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why does sour cream have a use-by date?
Why is it called a TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?
Why does the door bell ring just after you've stepped out of the shower?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
Is it true that Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does virgin wool come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV Set when you only have one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? If a book about failures does sell, is it a failure?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with the lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If the cops arrest a Mime, do they tell him he has a right to remain silent?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If you throw a cat out a car windows, does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do they get a deer to cross at the yellow road signs.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If God dropped acid, would He see people?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is "out of whack?" What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is a man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages. It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
What is the difference between a "slim chance" and a "fat chance?"
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergy defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you touch it to be sure?
Nyyki's Ponderables
What is a male Midwife called?
Do vegan women "swallow?" if so, why? If not, what is their thinking?
Ever notice that someone who rides a motorcycle is called a Biker, while someone who rides a bike is a Cyclist?
Isn't kind of interesting that pants are called Slacks while a category of hose are known as tights?
Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?
If you tied a buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a great height, what will happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?
You know how most well labelled packages say "Open Here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"?
When a crash-test-dummy hits his head, and no engineers record the results, does he make a sound?
Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
Why are there floatation devices under plane seats, instead of parachutes?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why does sour cream have a use-by date?
Why is it called a TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?
Why does the door bell ring just after you've stepped out of the shower?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
Is it true that Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does virgin wool come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV Set when you only have one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? If a book about failures does sell, is it a failure?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with the lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If the cops arrest a Mime, do they tell him he has a right to remain silent?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If you throw a cat out a car windows, does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do they get a deer to cross at the yellow road signs.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If God dropped acid, would He see people?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is "out of whack?" What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is a man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages. It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
What is the difference between a "slim chance" and a "fat chance?"
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergy defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you touch it to be sure?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Oh there are answers
But,then again, he's a smartass. :)
Blessed be:
Charlayne