Ponderable

[nyyki]

Think about this.

Do you treat "Men" and "Women" differently? How so? Why?

Why is this any different from treating people of different ethnic backgrounds differently? Is it a form of bigotry?

Think of situations where you treat people of different genders differently. Why do you do that? How many of those situations are due to the biological differences between the genders, and how many are due to societal pressures or other factors?

How much of your interaction with your preferred mate gender is about getting laid or perpetuating the species? How much does a drive to fill emotional needs by pairing off color your interactions?

If you were married to a person you loved deeply for over 10 years and then they decided they wanted to get a sex change, could you stay married to them? (Assuming that there are no legal problems) Which is more important, the person or the plumbing?

Just some food for thought here today.

Comments

[tupper26.livejournal.com]

Well, I try my best to treat people the way I'd want to be treated. It may sound simple, but it works. My gender definitions broadened significantly after I accepted myself as gay. I understand why you put 'men' and 'women' in quotes here. We're not necessarily talking about physiology. I might treat 'men' and 'women' differently, but I defer to their gender identity before their physiology. I consider them people with minds and hearts worthy of courtesy and respect regardless of their 'plumbing'.


My interactions with my mate are NOT about perpetuating the species (and I don't know many cases outside of zoos where this IS in fact true). Interacting with my mate is about staying 'connected' and bringing each other pleasure and joy in the context of sexual intimacy. It's about sharing myself with him in every way I can. The closeness we share meets all my emotional needs and is deeply rewarding and sacred to me.

If my partner needed surgery to correct their gender to more closely reflect their identity, I'd support it. But the person I loved for 10 years would still be the same person, regardless of 'plumbing'. So I'd stay with them.

[nyyki.livejournal.com]

"Well, I try my best to treat people the way I'd want to be treated. It may sound simple, but it works. My gender definitions broadened significantly after I accepted myself as gay."

They tend to -- Stepping outside of the standard Bi-polar gender roles will take you some interesting places.

"I understand why you put 'men' and 'women' in quotes here. We're not necessarily talking about physiology. I might treat 'men' and 'women' differently, but I defer to their gender identity before their physiology. I consider them people with minds and hearts worthy of courtesy and respect regardless of their 'plumbing'."

Close. I put them in quotes because though convienent labels, they really don't exist. I have yet to find a good definition for either word. I prefer to think of everyone as a person.


"My interactions with my mate are NOT about perpetuating the species (and I don't know many cases outside of zoos where this IS in fact true). Interacting with my mate is about staying 'connected' and bringing each other pleasure and joy in the context of sexual intimacy. It's about sharing myself with him in every way I can. The closeness we share meets all my
emotional needs and is deeply rewarding and sacred to me."

But is this not just needs hardwired into the human organism in an effort to keep humanity going? Even non-heterosexual people tend to pair up, and though their relationships have less biological imperative to them, it could be argued that the programming is too ingrained for us to shuck it completely.

"If my partner needed surgery to correct their gender to more closely reflect their identity, I'd support it. But the person I loved for 10 years would still be the same person, regardless of 'plumbing'. So I'd stay with them."

As would I. One cannot discount the intense feelings or betrayal that comes about when the person first reveals gender dysphoria to their mate, however true love shouldn't be flimsy enough that physical gender is enough to destroy the marriage. Of course, this is just my opinion