Ten Rules for Suicides
May. 9th, 2007 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyyki1. Make it clean. don't leave big messes for other people to clean up. If you're going to take your sorry ass out of the world because no one cares, be responsible about it. If they don't care, forcing them to care by making them clean up after you will make them care even less for you.
2. Don't tell everyone about it before hand. This is just whining for sympathy, and makes you looke like a poser. This is lame. Even worse, people might think you're an Emo, and that's beyond lame and into the realm of the pathetic.
3. Don't leave innocents to suffer the brunt of your actions. get pets farmed out to others, make provisions to deal with your bills, and arrange to get the utilities shut off. Drop all your mailing lists and other internet subscriptions so that it's not clogging up the bandwidth, and for goddess sake, make sure any mailing lists you own have someone else to take care of things after you're gone. Other people don't deserve the hassle of this.
4. Make sure that key people know exactly what to do with your stuff. Even if you have no desires, let them know that they're free to dump it at the Salvation Army or have a big garage sale.
5. Make your funeral wishes known. This will be a rough time for people who really do care about you, and letting them in on what you'd like done will give them comfort that they're doing what you wanted.
6. Finish whatever you can of your unfinished business. If you've got a novel, songs, or other art unfinished, finish it or leave enough of an idea of what you want it to be so someone else can finish it. They'll want to do this to honor your memory, so give them a clue.
7. Take out the trash. Don't leave trash and other useless stuff lying around. No reason to leave that mess for someone else to clean up.
8. Leave a coherent note. Don't leave a cryptic mass of words, take some time to do a decent job. Spend some time on the note, and make sure it says what you want it to say. And for goddess sake, DO NOT leave it in verse. The stereotype of the heart-broken poet penning some bit of doggerel as their dying words is so old it farts dust, and besides, people might think you're an Emo, and you don't want to mark your family with the shame of that stigma.
9. Make sure someone else has access to your finances and other business affairs. They're going to need some money to pay for getting rid of your dead ass, and since you made the decision to snuff yourself, it's ony fair that you should pay for it. Plus, they'll need to shut off the water and electricity, and this makes it much easier. If you can, get a power of attourney for who you want to clean up your affairs so they can do this all easily.
10. Don't lock the door. Make it easy for people to get to your festering corpse. Leave your keys in an obvious place. (One of the best is tied to the inside of the unlocked front door) That way they can take care of things quickly and easily. Also make sure they can find all your assets quickly.
With these few steps, you can exit the world without leaving a big mess that increases the resentment of those around you. After all, you want to be missed when you're gone, not resented, right? So be responsible and take care of the important things.
2. Don't tell everyone about it before hand. This is just whining for sympathy, and makes you looke like a poser. This is lame. Even worse, people might think you're an Emo, and that's beyond lame and into the realm of the pathetic.
3. Don't leave innocents to suffer the brunt of your actions. get pets farmed out to others, make provisions to deal with your bills, and arrange to get the utilities shut off. Drop all your mailing lists and other internet subscriptions so that it's not clogging up the bandwidth, and for goddess sake, make sure any mailing lists you own have someone else to take care of things after you're gone. Other people don't deserve the hassle of this.
4. Make sure that key people know exactly what to do with your stuff. Even if you have no desires, let them know that they're free to dump it at the Salvation Army or have a big garage sale.
5. Make your funeral wishes known. This will be a rough time for people who really do care about you, and letting them in on what you'd like done will give them comfort that they're doing what you wanted.
6. Finish whatever you can of your unfinished business. If you've got a novel, songs, or other art unfinished, finish it or leave enough of an idea of what you want it to be so someone else can finish it. They'll want to do this to honor your memory, so give them a clue.
7. Take out the trash. Don't leave trash and other useless stuff lying around. No reason to leave that mess for someone else to clean up.
8. Leave a coherent note. Don't leave a cryptic mass of words, take some time to do a decent job. Spend some time on the note, and make sure it says what you want it to say. And for goddess sake, DO NOT leave it in verse. The stereotype of the heart-broken poet penning some bit of doggerel as their dying words is so old it farts dust, and besides, people might think you're an Emo, and you don't want to mark your family with the shame of that stigma.
9. Make sure someone else has access to your finances and other business affairs. They're going to need some money to pay for getting rid of your dead ass, and since you made the decision to snuff yourself, it's ony fair that you should pay for it. Plus, they'll need to shut off the water and electricity, and this makes it much easier. If you can, get a power of attourney for who you want to clean up your affairs so they can do this all easily.
10. Don't lock the door. Make it easy for people to get to your festering corpse. Leave your keys in an obvious place. (One of the best is tied to the inside of the unlocked front door) That way they can take care of things quickly and easily. Also make sure they can find all your assets quickly.
With these few steps, you can exit the world without leaving a big mess that increases the resentment of those around you. After all, you want to be missed when you're gone, not resented, right? So be responsible and take care of the important things.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 09:14 pm (UTC)But no, no reason for concern. Though I'd be much happier if I was jet setting around South America like you were. If I went to brazil, I'd definitely empty the bank account on Bossa Nova records.